Okay so life.. well these past few weeks have been hard.. My dog that I've had for like forever got a tumor that they had thought was not cancerous but today when we took him to get looked at because he'd gotten worse they told us that he would need major surgery that they could not preform and we'd have to take him to a specialist and well, if you've ever had a dog with problems.. you know how much it would've cost. We then decided that it'd be the best thing to just let him not have anymore pain and have him put to sleep. so my family has now suffered two losses within the last 6 months. I'm not sure what to think about all this. Life's hard right now..
on the plus side Michael and I have a new job at Teleprofomance.. I hope it goes well for us both.

I look back on how much I miss being in high school and I realize that the reason I miss it is because I'm not the person i used to be on the inside. My walk with God has gone downhill.. and I can't believe it. I know why it has but lets not go there. I'm thinking about going back to the naz and getting back into going to church. hopefully I can get back to the way I was. I hate what I have become and I hate what has happened to me and my family. I'm not just trying to make up a sob story on everyone but I really do feel this way and I have for a while I can't find any way better to put it out there. I thought that going to gccs was annoying with having to learn about the bible and everything... well turns out I needed it. Satan is out to bring the strongest of Christians down to his level, I feel as though he succeeded these past months, But as of now I'm not letting that happen anymore.I can't stand it and I feel empty.

I hope that those of you still going to GCCS will learn from my mistakes. Life's not the same out here in the real world without God. Seriously, now that I'm out in this cold world.. it's even harder for me to understand how much I've messed up... I'm giving you warning now.. Don't let what has happened to a lot of us happen to you. Good Luck.